I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
