You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
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Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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