We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
