i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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