is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
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he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
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He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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