I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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