he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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