If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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