and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
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Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
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WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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