well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Everything about him screamed your future.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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