tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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