I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
the room spins SO much faster in panama
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
