Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
