I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
