This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize