There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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