just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My life is pants optional.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
