soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
