doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
