he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
