do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
