You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize