god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize