You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
