i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize