if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
