Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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