just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
