just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
