i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
