she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize