There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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