last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
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Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
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You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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