Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
