Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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