But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Whod you bang
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
