lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
