I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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