On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
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New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
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so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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