your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
