I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
