so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
