Sponge bath it is.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
