No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Im part way to drunk.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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