peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
