In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
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WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
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Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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