HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
