Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
