you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
