Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
