Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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