Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
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Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
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I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My dick has a subreddit
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Floor bacon is actually really good
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