he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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