I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I need a burrito and a hug.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
