Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It's blow job season.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
