marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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