I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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