And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
